i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
