So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
