If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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