I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
