Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
