Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
