Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
