And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
