I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
