Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
