Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
