I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
