***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
