bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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