it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
