U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
