is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
