Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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