it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
