maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
