porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize