if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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