Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
