I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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