There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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