The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
