We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize