My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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