I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
