It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
