i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
