Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize