awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
soo... how was my night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize