we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
