the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
