It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
