I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
