Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
