I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
