Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
