lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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