If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
