apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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