Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
