I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
