The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
