how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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