Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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