He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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