Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
