he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
