I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
