Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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