That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
