one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
