I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
