I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize