if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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