Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
