Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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